She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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