I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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