three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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