But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
