I don't usually arrange sex via text message
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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