It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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