Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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