Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
