i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
this just has baby written all over it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
