I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Couch. On fire.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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