K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
