I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
porn star boner night. come get it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
