I showed him my bush... on skype.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
