i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Someone signed my nipple.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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