paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I want to fling myself into the sun
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
