sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
