you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
