Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
