I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
