Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
