A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
