when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
