I just made out with a guy for $7.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
