No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
