i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wish i was in the wii world.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
as a side note pls kill me
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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