so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
