THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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