Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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