so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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