around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
