is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
