hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
