it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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