Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
