just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
