did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
