ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
