the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
