im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
