if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
