can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
