I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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