i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
