A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm đđ»đ
We are so blessed
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes âI drove you last nightâ\nâYou got your dick sucked in the back seatâ
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
