just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
