I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
they're like a gay fantastic four
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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