I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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