like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
