My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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