I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
