as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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